WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE ANXIETY
This article is now apart of a new segment called "the TEEN AGE" where we will be talking about stupid shit the Youth have to deal with.
I’m writing this article anonymously just because I don’t feel like having people feel sorry for me. I rather have this article be more informative than just a sympathy story. With that being said, I will now talk a little bit about myself. I am seventeen years old, and I have had anxiety for a year now; but these last few months have been the worst of it. I've always been the type of person to just push my feelings to the side and deal with them later; and maybe one day I’ll wake up and stop feeling sorry for myself and continue living my life. But anxiety is not something you can just “deal with later”, it's a daily struggle that has to be dealt with at all times. When I first started experiencing anxiety, I would have episodes of an uncontrollable feeling of being overwhelmed with stress. Nowadays, I can experience intense anxiety attacks even being stress- free. Let me walk you through a typical anxiety attack I have on the daily. It will start slow, hot flashes out of nowhere, extreme nausea, like I’m anticipating going on the scariest roller coaster of my life. Without even noticing, I start grinding my teeth, constant tapping of my fingers and finding it harder and harder to focus. Then the feeling becomes faster and more intense. My heart starts beating out of control, and breathing becomes more difficult. Then I start to hyperventilate. Meanwhile I’m trying to concentrate on my own heart beat so I can get my breathing under control again. My mind starts over thinking like crazy; thoughts in my head become louder and louder to the point of no control. Everything is happening so fast that I become overwhelmed and can’t do anything but sit there and try to calm my ass down. It all becomes too much to handle that I just start balling my eyes out, begging for it all to just FUCKING STOP! And it feels like fucking forever! I’m not the most religious person, but in that very moment I find myself talking to any God or higher power out there to hear me and just make it all go away! For there to be no more pain and suffering. Some days are better, some days are worse. But the thing that sucks the most is that unless you experience it, no one will ever understand. Anxiety is not a something you can physically see. It seems like unless you’re bleeding out or dying on the floor, no one will EVER think you are truly in pain. But they’re wrong. I am in pain. I am angry, and I’m not an angry person. It takes a lot to get me mad. But to hear someone say, “You’ll be fine” “You’re Exaggerating”.......makes me want hurt somebody! But I won’t. It’s not worth it, people will always be ignorant and will choose what they want to and what not to believe. This is why people with anxiety go into depression. The feeling of being ignored and all the pain anxiety already has to it, is all too much for a person to get through on their own. If you’re not gonna take anything away from this article, at least hear me out on this, be kind to people! You never know what people are going through, whether it be anxiety, depression, family issues, relationship problems, ect. If there is one thing we all have in common, it’s we all got issues and we deal with them everyday. Be kind, stay positive and even though it sounds cliche, know things do get better.
