Kids say the shittiest things: Kaution Flow Fags
Ever since I started working at South Fontana Skatepark I've come in contact with shitty kids like Jordan and Mark. Unfortunaely, they are locals. Fortunately, they let me record their dumbass conversations.....
(Jordan's on the left and Mark is on the right)
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Wait, who do you guys ride for?
Jordan/Mark: Kaution
How did you guys get on? Did Rudy shove Broomsticks up yer ass?
J: No, I asked him if I did a treflip, could I get a board
Hahaha
J: and he said no
M: Wait, Jacob is on Kaution too.
Idgaf about Jacob first of all. Fuck this kid. Jacob how stoned are you? Not enough?
J:Aye he begged Mark for weed!
Hahaaaa
J:(In Jacob’s voice) ”Hey Mark will you smoke me out?”
Wait,wait, wait. Who do you like better Johnny[Miranda] or Rudy? Wait no, who would you rather take a pole up the ass for, Rudy or Johnny?
J:Rudy
M: I would do it for Rudy because I’ll get a free board out of it
Hahaha, so How are the Kaution boards? They’re shit huh? Absolute shit. Do you even believe in god?
M: No
So you guys are Satanist on a Christian Brand? You guys are a disgrace. How many times have you sucked Rudy’s dick for a board?
J: I've never sucked-
M: Too many times to count.
Too many times to count? That’s Horrible!
J: How many dicks did you have to suck to get that shit? *Points to Mark’s KAution board* 10?
Ewww haha
J: they were all in a row. And you were sucking every single one *makes choking sounds*
Woaahh! Haha. Wait so I’m still confused about how you got on Kaution?
M: Got broomsticks shoved up our ass!
So that's the initiation? Getting Brooms shoved up yer ass? Was it sexual or was it like something you just gotta do?
J: there was like a bunch of lube-
Nigga you did it without lube, quit lying
M: yea it was hardcore because there was no lube
Daamn! So he drydocked both of you?
M: yea we had to get[in] half of the broom.
Did you hear that people? Rudy drydocks people to get them on their team! Gahh Dammit!
So where are we at rn?
J:Uhh, Ferg
Damn. Got that fucking wrong * We’re at South fontana Skatepark* So where we at?
J: Ferg
M: North[Fontana Skatepark]
Who's your favorite worker here?
M/J: Jason
Why?
J:Because he’s black
Damn.
J: Black lives matter
M: haha black lives matter
Who do you like better Zack[Walker] or [Cambo]Rob
(Juan’s ugly ass decides to interrupt and say the gayest shit. I shouldnt add this but, fuck it:))
Juan: Zack. Ill fuck the fuck out of Zack! I'll pull his hair back and start-
M: Woaahhhh! What the fuck?
J: What the fuck? nah nah nah fuck that! Zack’s a worker!
M: Fuck Zack!
J: *to Juan’s ugly ass* You’re fucking Jesus!
Awww man that’s horrible
J: He’ll let you walk on water!
You guys are fucking horrible
J:*trying to be funny* He’s a little fuking minister-...wait wait what are they called? The pastor?
Dude shut the hell up! 666!
J: You’re a Jesus lover, why would you say that number?
Jesus Lover?(Couldn't even believe he said with a straight face) But yer on Kaution!
J: I’m not on Kaution.
Come on, you sucked Rudy’s dick too many times to be saying that. Don’t let him hear you say that.
M:hahahhaaha
That sounds like a porno! 13 year old sucks off 50 year old for skateboards. Hahah. So Jordan how many times do you eat a day? I recall one time you said you were gunna go home to eat and then you came back with food.
M: hahahahah
J: I did not
Bullshit! You came back with the fattest bag of cheetos I've ever seen bro. I didn't even know they sold that size. You brought back that family size!
M: haha
This nigga had the party bag.
M/J hahahahah
M: he was in the shop not tryna share it
There was alot more we talked about but it just get’s worse and worse from here. If you wanna hear the rest, Email me:)
